It's my fault. My own fault. My own most grievous fault. All the personal shit I've shared on facebook about my husband's journey with Alzheimers, caregiving, and my daughter and grandson. I foolishly vented and bitched and sought.....something. What I got, with some exceptions, is nosey, meddling, bitches who thought they were superior to me. They mistook my vulnerability for weakness. I had my privacy violated. "Oh, I didn't mention your name, but I asked my doctor, social worker or friend,....what you should do." They did not ask my permission first. These people then proceed to tell me what is what. They send me phone numbers and links for all kinds of crap. It's almost always an effing wild goose chase. People feel they can google my problems and solve them from the anomymity of their computer screen. It is ALL my fault. I created the monsters and now I will disassemble them. I cannot believe the things folks have said to me. I expressed how facebook just isn't fun anymore. I used to use it to escape the stress of life and caregiving. Now it is just more of the same. I am sick to death of Alzheimer's inhabiting every corner of my life. I am not doing the walks and the fundraisers. It's all a crock. Everyone thinks if they just raise enough money....we will get a cure....especially for the younger onset variety. Fools. Their nickel.
Anyway, a woman told me if I was going to use facebook to bring people down then I shbouldn't post. EXCUSE ME. MY facebook page. NOT some support group page. And then there's support group dramas.....don't even want to go there.
I'm not sure what there is left to do on facebook. Politics and religion are touchy issues for Americans. I've got conservative and liberal friends in both issues. I waiver. There's nothing left but to post an occasional song or funny cat meme. Junk, in other words.
I"ve deactivated my facebook before and I'd find myself reaching for my phone the next morning wanting to log back in. Not today. I woke up with just as much anger as when I deactivated it last night. If firends want me they have my email and phone. And for those nosey bitches who keep bothering me who say they are "worried' why the hell are they worried. Do I seem that fucking fragile? Bite my ass bitches. If that is what you think, then you are gullible morons.
There is so much I can do to fill my time that I avoid doing when I am constantly checking facebook. Reading, Writing, Making a life plan.
There is a tinge of sadness knowing that certain "relationships" will fall by the wayside and die. I think it was meant to anyway. I wish him joy.
As for Fargo, I'm so tired of the roller coaster of emotions. Some obstacles cannot be overcome. I want to return money but folks won't cooperate. They say keep it going. Idiots. Thinking positive only makes me make a fool of myself. No thanks.
Yeah, I'm facing facebook. I'm facing the fact that I created the monster and now I must slay it. It's my fault and I will deal with the consequences. And for those that get pissed and unfriend me--well, we weren't really friends anyway, my dears.
the only online friendships that have lasted on facebook or otherwise are those that started right here on dA---where I belong.
Listening to: The Actor--Moody Blues
Watching: Downton Abbey
Drinking: hot tea