....and ends the same, so why whine and opine and write. Let go. Move on. Find another dream.
I HATE FLORIDA WITH THE HEAT OF A THOUSAND RED HOT SUNS.
I hate the climate, the people, the vibe, the mindset. It's getting expensive to live here and yet everyone thinks it is paradise.
I need money to dream much less move. I want to go where there are 4 seasons and snow. I don't give a righteous damn about everyone else's bitching about bitter winters. Do they think I'm some Southern wimp They don't know how stubborn I am.
It's just that I want to live. I need to live. Chris is never going to be better. I need to prepare for life after him now. I feel guilt about that but I know it is foolish not to think or plan. The stress and isolation are making me feel depressed. I NEVER sleep enough nor do I wake up feeling refreshed or well rested. Never. I feel trapped. I feel stuck. I feel stupid because I can't do well for him and give him the best quality of life because I can't drive and do for him.
But I'm pretty realistic, I know I am probably stuck in effing Florida forever. I'll die here. I just hope I die young. Many caregivers do.
Listening to: River of Tears--Eric Clapton
Drinking: iced tea