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About Deviant Member Imagining FlyingFemale/United States Recent Activity
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As most of you know, I have most of my poetry and photography in storage. (hundreds) I won't rehash the reasons.
I haven't been listening to music very much nor writing very much poetry, but I have posted a couple of poems that came to me recently.

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It's like my poem says, I told you there'd be no lefse for Christmas. I told him months and months and months ago. I knew. I just knew. He didn't believe me then. I guess he'd believe me now if he remembered or gave me a thought. I made sure that will never happen. I made sure he'll never think of me fondly again. It's best for me in the end that it be that way. Oh, maybe if I had nice meds for depression or whatever then maybe things would have been different....maybe. 
He said I should try lefse. He said he'd make some and it to me. I'm sure that promise slipped his mind. 
I talk about wanting to learn to make lefse on my facebook page all the time. If I get to move to North Dakota or Minnesota, then perhaps I will learn to make it. 
But I will never eat lefse. Never. I would only eat his.
I'm sure he's impressed others with his lefse making video. Someday I'll forget why  vowed to never eat lefse. I'm already getting old anyway. For now a short term promise or intention is as good as a lifetime vow. 

In other news, this is the worst Christmas ever. Partly because of him. Partly because of my husband's Alzheimers. Partly because of church. I"ll tell the tales another day--if they still matter....if I remember. 

Now can we just get this damn holiday over with???!!!
  • Mood: Suffering
  • Playing: house
Today was my husband's 65th birthday. He has no clue. He's stage 6 of Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. He's on hospice for weight loss but I'm sure he's got quite a few years left. I am his full time caregiver and I never get a break.

Are you superstitious? I consider myself too religious to be superstitious but I do know this: if I want something too badly, it never comes true. So, I will write my wishes and by writing them down publicly, I know they will never come true. At the same time, this knowledge will help me stop thinking about them and maybe I can find some peace. 

First of all, I wish that Chris and I could move to Fargo or Moorhead in 2015. There are many sound reasons for wanting this but I keep hitting walls. My fundraiser is stalled. 

Secondly, I wish that everything would be right again with me and the admins and the EOAD group. I know the bridge is burned and destroyed but I can dream. Well, no, it's been a soul crushing experience. 

I would use my third wish to heal my husband of Alzheimer's and have him back to normal but God doesn't do those kinds of miracles, so maybe it belongs here because it's just as impossible as the first two listed. 

I"ll add a fourth since it's an unlucky number. I wish I'd get lefse for Christmas from a former friends. See? All totally impossible. 
  • Mood: Sorrow
  • Listening to: It Came Upon A Midnight Clear--MercyMe
  • Reading: Cream and Bread
  • Watching: Hallmark Channel Xmas Movies
  • Playing: house
  • Eating: Qtr lber w/bacon,
  • Drinking: Vanilla Shake, Coke

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deviantID

Blanzeflor
Imagining Flying
United States
Current Residence: My home is in my head. HOusTon to you.
Favourite photographer: Mattioli13, Erriewon, Tangledweb, Karil
Favourite style of art: fantasy, surreal, black & white photography
Operating System: estrogen and being ADHD
MP3 player of choice: part of the unwashed masses enslaved to the iPod cartel
Shell of choice: One with a pearl in it
Wallpaper of choice: Something easily removable--I hate commitment.
Skin of choice: younger
Favourite cartoon character: Mitsuru Kirijyo Scooby Saya & Hagi Sasake & Sakura Namine & Roxas
Personal Quote: Entering one’s study & touching the books can brighten one’s mood..King Chongjo
Interests
It's like my poem says, I told you there'd be no lefse for Christmas. I told him months and months and months ago. I knew. I just knew. He didn't believe me then. I guess he'd believe me now if he remembered or gave me a thought. I made sure that will never happen. I made sure he'll never think of me fondly again. It's best for me in the end that it be that way. Oh, maybe if I had nice meds for depression or whatever then maybe things would have been different....maybe. 
He said I should try lefse. He said he'd make some and it to me. I'm sure that promise slipped his mind. 
I talk about wanting to learn to make lefse on my facebook page all the time. If I get to move to North Dakota or Minnesota, then perhaps I will learn to make it. 
But I will never eat lefse. Never. I would only eat his.
I'm sure he's impressed others with his lefse making video. Someday I'll forget why  vowed to never eat lefse. I'm already getting old anyway. For now a short term promise or intention is as good as a lifetime vow. 

In other news, this is the worst Christmas ever. Partly because of him. Partly because of my husband's Alzheimers. Partly because of church. I"ll tell the tales another day--if they still matter....if I remember. 

Now can we just get this damn holiday over with???!!!
  • Mood: Suffering
  • Playing: house

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:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2014   Writer
Hello,

Thank you so much for wandering through my gallery and adding my work to your +devwatch!

Heart
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:iconschieben:
Schieben Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too Party
Hope you have a good one! :) (Smile)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbrokenopen:
BrokenOpen Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2013
I don't know if you will see this, or even if you remember me, but I just wanted to say that I am still alive and still remember you and Kirsten. Life has taken a crazy road for me and that is why I don't come on DA anymore. But I am still here and I wanted to say hi.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconben13th:
BEN13th Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for faving my "What is beauty?" piece! 
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:iconhamish-frost:
Hamish-Frost Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconschieben:
Schieben Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake:
Hope you have a good one! :)
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconice-or-fire:
ice-or-fire Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
Hello!:iconomgcakeplz:
Happy [early] birthday!
May the best of your wishes be the least of what you get!
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconadrianna-grezak:
Adrianna-Grezak Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Thank you for fav-ing my homage to MC Escher! Feel free to follow me on Facebook [link] by clicking the "Like" button!
Reply
:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2012
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the *birthdays team, I sincerely apologise that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: =icesis

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:iconanime116:
anime116 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Student General Artist
happy birthday! i hope everything is going your way
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